Today I may have lost my best friend. I just experienced a four point nine magnitude earthquake and I think that is a good metaphor for today. You shook my world; throughout the last six years in all of the best possible ways and today in all of the worst. you have hurt me immensely throughout the last few months. It hurt for you to go from my travel companion, cookie dough tester, and someone who would wait an hour for me to walk from the car to the grocery store to someone who today could not look me in the eye. How did we get here and how do we get out? we built plans about our first apartment, that was going to be named Genesis, wedding cakes and voyages on sailing ships. I’m sorry I no longer fit into your plans but I will take the scenic route and forge my own path. I will stop to smell all of the roses. I will buy my own pots and pans. I will play scrabble by myself on New Years Eve. I think the worst part of it all is that I saw it coming. This was a train and I was tied to the tracks. I can’t make you believe in this relationship the way I do, and boy did I. People come into your life for a reason and are there a million reasons why you came into mine.
Two AM, the unlikeliest of times is getting more likely for me to encounter. I have learnt allot of lessons at this lonesome time. It is in isolation that I feel closest to God, weather that is the middle of the night or the middle of the sea. As I sit in silence watching those little numbers on the clock get larger and larger I find myself of in a position of awe about life. Tonight, I ventured to my window sill and pulled up a seat. As I have been watching the desolate world slowly pass me by I have come to know that even in the depths of the night, when everything initially seams dark, there is still light. I may not be able to see everything as clearly as in the mid of day but my surroundings are still recognisable. This reminded me of when John says “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”(John 1:5 NIV). The night is viewed as a time of complete darkness, destitute if you will but staring out of that window all I could focus on was the existence of light. It was the light that captured my attention. Tonight, I have witnessed that even when things seem gloomy, goodness and light can still be found.